Stiff and Dirty
by Dark Kaneanite
Summary: A one shot inspired by the AXE commericals.


_A/N: So this one shot was inspired by the new AXE Shampoo and hair care products that just came out. If you hate it, blame Wal~Mart. They put the tvs near the registers and when there is nothing to do I tend to watch. These came on and I could just imagine this happening to the superstars. It's short but I hope funny. lol But enough rambling, I hope you all enjoy._

_Stiff _

Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin was standing in the local Wal~Mart. He was looking at the plastic Rubbermaid totes, his one that he carried some of his clothes in had finally died and he was looking for a new one. He lifted the lid and peered into one, it was a deep on and dark colored. Perfect for keeping snooping Superstars out of his personal business. But it was too big to fit in the under the bus luggage compartment. He moved on down to the next one.

Unbeknownst to him, Melina, Beth, Mickie, Natalya were stalking him through the isles. They were tired of his stiff and sticky hair. The products he used were more of a turn off than his cocky persona. They had ducked down the hair care isle and grabbed a container of the AXE Whatever messy hair pomade and some of the AXE Shampoo. Mickie peeked out from the one end and nodded her head. Melina rushed Mike with a yowl and tackled him to the ground as Beth, Natalya and Mickie rushed up. Beth pulled him to a kneeling position and Natalya shoved one of the totes under his head.

"W-What the hell is going...." The rest of Mike's sentence was garbled due to the fact that Melina had retrieved a water hose and was thoroughly wetting his head.

Mike gasped and tried to wriggle out, but Beth held strong, keeping his head bowed over the tote.

"Come on now, I worked for over an hour to get the Mohawk to stand straight." Mike whined when the water was turned off.

"Be a man." Mickie giggled as she poured the shampoo on his head.

She started to massaged it in and then Melina once again unleashed the water hose on him. Mike sputtered, spitting out the shampoo that had gotten into his mouth. The water stopped and he cracked an eye open, big mistake, some of the soapy water ran into his eye and started to burn. He started to flail around and Natalya gave Beth a hand in holding him still.

"It burns!!!!" He cried as he doubled his efforts to get free.

"Give me a minute." Mickie grunted as she grabbed on the towels that she had brought and started to dry his head roughly.

Mike's head was snapping to and fro and he was slightly worried about getting whiplash, after all it wasn't too long ago that Glen had dropped him on his head for a story line. Soon the towel was whipped away and he felt fingers going through his hair. The motion and feeling was gentle and welcomed it over the rough treatment that he had been dealt. Then just as quickly as the abuse started it was over and Mike was left standing in the isle by himself. He straightened up and looked around, but none of the Diva's were to be seen. On the floor next to the water filled tote was a hand mirror and a note.

Mike picked up the mirror and looked into it, his hair looked like it did before he was attacked. Cautiously he reached up to feel it and pulled his hand away, his hair was soft, like there was nothing in it at all. Next he picked up the note and read the short missive.

_Now you have female approved hair...although that won't help your personality._

* * *

_Dirty_

The Divas were walking towards the front of the store, giggling over what they had done to Mike. They were about to leave when James Reiher Jr. walked through the door. His hair wasn't in it's usual small pony tail and it looked like it hadn't been washed in days. The Diva's shared a grin and headed off towards the furniture department. When they returned James was walking towards the clothing department and Mickie rushed him from behind. She was pushing a rolling chair and when his knees bumped against it he fell backwards. Beth then took Mickie's place and used a towel to bind him to the chair.

"What the fuck!" He bit out.

He didn't get an answer, Melina just splashed a bucket of water on him and Natalya started to rub the shampoo into his hair. She worked it into a lather and then stood back as Melina splashed him again with another bucket of water. Natalya grabbed an extra towel from Mickie and started to towel dry his hair, ignoring his struggles and curses. Once it was semi dry she pulled a brush from her back pocket and brushed it out, taking the utmost care not to hurt him; not too much anyways.

"You women are crazy." He yelled.

The spectacle was drawing a crowd, including Mike Mizanin. He laughed as James growled at the Divas. He knew that there was no way he was going to get loose until they were done. With a yell Beth let the towel loose and the Diva's headed towards the door, laughing as James looked at them almost in fear. The crowd dissipated and soon only Mike was standing there grinning at him.

"What the hell do you want." James growled.

"Nothing man."

With another grin Mike handed him a bottle of the AXE shampoo and walked off, whistling to himself.

"Everyone I work with is insane." James grumbled, but he did keep the bottle. He didn't want this to happen again. At least not in public anyways.


End file.
